Positive parenting contd

Teach Instead Of Punish

teach instead of punishWhen your child displays rudeness or is inconsiderate of others, teach her appropriate behavior rather than punish her. Discipline is about guiding children in ways that support their development of self-control.Punishment, on the other hand, is designed to hurt children, placing a focus on the child rather than the behavior, When your child is angry about something, for example, she might think it’s acceptable to take her anger out on you and respond to your call in a rude manner simply because she’s upset. Set boundaries and let her know that when she’s angry she should talk to someone about what’s troubling her or ask for a few minutes to herself. Teach your child that being rude is not an acceptable way to express anger.

Understand Your Child

Understand  each child as a unique individual. Communicate, listen to and notice your child. Help him or her develop his or her unique talents and gifts.

Meet his or her distinct needs these include physical requirements such as proper nutrition, homemade meals, after school food, shelter, clothing, education, interest in his/her school life, healthcare and supervision. Emotional needs such as love, security, attention and understanding. When you fail to provide these basic needs you are neglecting the child.

It is not enough to teach your child good values your life must demonstrate what you teach. Training is best done by example. Children learn better and faster by copying what they see around them. A parent is a child’s model. What you say and do in the presence of your child matters. Be a good example in the use of language, dress, conduct and attitude. Be a model of character, integrity, discipline, hard work, honesty and self-respect.

Use good communication in your interactions with your spouse and others. Treat your spouse well. These will serve as a buffer against stress and give your child a sense of security. He/she picks up social skills and relate better with you and others. This will help you raise a problem solver and not a confrontational child.

Make time for family discussion. Spend time together. Allow your child express himself or herself, his feelings and needs. Children these days are facing tremendous challenges due to advancement in technology. They are bombarded with all sorts of negative media. Build your child’s self-esteem through communicating your love to him or her.

Love your child unconditionally but you do not have to say ‘yes’ to everything your child demands sometimes you can’t afford it and sometimes you should not. Explain to the child when you can’t.

Show interest and participate in activities that are meaningful to him or her. Be his or her number one fan.

understand your child

Provide Guidance for the Child

Let your child know what is expected of him/her. What will not be tolerated and what will be appreciated.Set boundaries or limits with positive or negative consequences with consistency so that the child does not go astray.

Do not rebuke him or her sharply, criticize or put him or her down. Discipline your child in love. Listen to his/her explanations before disciplining him/her. Do not take your problems out on your child. Keep your anger from erupting into violent acts and hurtful words. Do not beat your child or any child in anger. Do not beat him or her in public. This will however not be necessary if you practice positive parenting and discipline values.

When a complaint is made concerning your child, listen to his or her side before reacting. When your child makes a wrong choice disapprove of the misbehavior, correct or discipline him/her for the irresponsible act but you should not stop loving your child. Unite with your spouse to solve the problem. Always Encourage your child to talk to you about everything. Let him know he can talk to you about anything that you will listen attentively, calmly, counsel, rebuke with love and understanding, guide and direct. Don’t exert power and control over your child but exert authority. Respect your child.

As you discipline and set boundaries affirm your child, appreciate his/her uniqueness and peculiarities and fulfill your responsibilities to him/her. Don’t be neglectful show positive physical contact touch, hug, smile and play with your child.


When your child exhibits challenging behaviors or when he has made wrong choices, evaluate the impact of your parenting style in your child’s life. Look beyond the rebellious behavior to the causes behind it. Ascertain to what extent you are responsible for what is happening as well as other influences at work. Ask questions to make him express his feelings, needs and concerns and Pay attention to your own attitudes, habits and approach to parenting in terms of discipline, love, guidance and meeting the basic needs of the child. You can Offer sincere apology and seek forgiveness for genuine shortcomings.

Do not apportion blame but decide on what should be done from now onwards in your relationship with your child. Don’t try to make up for past mistakes by becoming overly permissive but set out in a new direction with your child.


Training a child is applicable to anyone involved in the care of the child including uncles, cousins, teachers, domestic staff, etc. They should support parents to keep the child safe and properly raise him/her. We all have a stake in the welfare of children. Everyone should be committed to ensuring the protection of children.


Pray for your child/children. Take every problem to God in prayer. Cooperate with God to raise your unique child to reach his or her fullest potential. Your Child is your responsibility.



One thought on “Positive parenting contd

  1. Pingback: Response to: When Kids Talk Back (or) Learning Assertiveness – The Treasure Trove

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s