Tag Archive | parents

Parenting

Parenting is a most challenging yet rewarding experience. Parenting style differs in four important areas: parents’ warmth/nurturance, discipline strategy, communication skills, and expectations of maturity. She posited three types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Some children raised in dramatically different environments can later grow up to have remarkably similar personalities. Conversely, children who share a home and are raised in the same environment can grow up to have astonishingly different personalities than one another.
Parents are the major influence in their children’s lives. Thus their perception of how children think, and should be raised is crucial in determining children’s behaviour. Other factors, such as genes, peers, culture, gender, and financial status, are of lesser importance.

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The Four Parenting Styles

1. Authoritarian parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If the child asks, the parent might simply reply, “Because I said so.” These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children

2. Authoritative parenting
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. These parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive.

3. Permissive parenting
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on

parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. These parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive.

3. Permissive parenting
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

4. Uninvolved parenting
An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child’s basic needs, they are generally detached from their child’s life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

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The Impact of Parenting Styles
What effect do these parenting styles have on child development outcomes? In addition to Baumrind’s initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted numerous other studies that have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children.
• Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.

• Authoritative parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful and hard working

• Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.

• Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.
Authoritative parenting provides more advantages over other styles? Because “First, when children perceive their parents’ requests as fair and reasonable, they are more likely to comply with the requests” Second, the children are more likely to internalize (or accept as their own) the reasons for behaving in a certain way and thus to achieve greater self-control.”

 

-culled from different sources.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Power of the Positive!

Parents often ask, what can I do to help my child be ‘more’ in life as he or she grows? We do understand that our children need more than just academics to excel in life and what they need is a positive approach to problem solving and the right attitude to tackle the challenges that come their way.

Children can develop the positive attitude before the toddler stage of life and if nurtured properly can help your child be ‘more’ in future.

Take a look at some of these picture / diagrams and start to work on these with your child and see the difference it will make in your child’s life in a few months and greater mark in years to come.

Even as parents we need to always develop a positive attitude as well, we are our children’s greatest example.

Remember that your child is human, not super human to understand all that you understand now including the feelings that he/she has concerning certain situations, for example: Try not to argue with your child about his thoughts, he has a right to them. Just help him see that he is in control of what he thinks and he can see things with more hope when he knows how to improve difficult social and academic situations. Building a positive attitude in our children will build  better nation.

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CHILDREN AND LOVE

Children need our support, love, care, attention etc.  As Parents it is important we provide this. Structure a system that works because every human being is different. The way Mr. A would raise his child is different from you. Why? Mr. A’s child has a different temperament from yours and not totally exposedlove2 to the same conditions as yours.  We believe in Children and the life they live should be our up-most concern. Children however, need to be correcting when the need arises,  even in correcting them we should do so in love and in most cases let them know why your way is the better way.

Different cultures have different unwritten methods to raising children and so even individual parents have personalized the way they raise their children as well. We should realize that these have different effects on our children and as has an impact on how they live in future, what they believe in and how they run their own children’s lives as well. Remember all you need to do is to give a child LOVE! This is like the best gift he or she will forever remember you by.

As parents we have to give ample attention to our child’s needs and this doesn’t mean we are ‘spoiling’ them. We are not only showing love, we are also being examples of how they loveshould relate to people they meet and those around them. Get your child to trust you, this is very important, its creates a panacea for them to start to follow your example. Such a child knows that his/her parents(s) will be there when he needs support, he knows what to expect. This give your child great confidence at all times.

Parents should cheer their children on. Be your child’s biggest cheerleader, no child wants to be constantly put down by anyone especially not mummy or daddy, uncle or aunty.  Remember if it happened to you and made you feel awful it shouldn’t happen to any child if it didn’t then make a child better. A hug, kisses are warm stuff to do with your child and is not asking too much, even if you are a care giver, you can’t love too much. Abuse isn’t acceptable but like we say at Ella Henri schools……we believe in children. Build a positive relationship with a child today and see how much difference you can make.

Teaching children GREAT values!

In life we often think our children are young and don’t need to learn right manners from an early stage. Believe me children begin to form their character and habits from just 6months of age. It is imperative we teach by example the values they need. No one wants to hire a rude staff or have a partner with the weirdest of characters.

Children, at stages in their lives have tantrums; it is a way they get attention for what they want. What is the appropriate age for tantrums and how do we stop tantrums?                     child

The fact is that after a busy day at work, we are usually tired don’t want any conflict, so we let stuff slide more and more by the day. If you let rude behavior go even once or twice, your children feel that  they can do whatever they want,  whenever they want. Most kids that misbehave in public have never been given limits or told what is appropriate or what’s not. As a result, standards for behavior have hit an all-time low; many parents feel that as long as they teach their children to say please and thank you, their kids will be considered polite.  This isn’t the case there are other manners such as speaking softly, sitting quietly in public or addressing an elderly person with extra respect, proper courtesy like girls kneeling, boys prostrating to greet which are values that are quietly leaving our society. Parents act like therapists instead of acting like authority figures, so when a child says a phrase like “shut up” in public to other people, children or even to them the parent, they immediately make excuses for that child, ‘oh! He is hungry, tired, he is dealing with so much at school, I didn’t pick him up early etc’. Honestly there are no excuses for having bad manners.

The society we raise our children in is itself a bad example for rudeness and obnoxious behavior, checkout what they watch on TV, sarcasm thrives in some family shows. We as parents need to do better when we address our Nannies, house keepers, security men, washer man etc. Our kids watch how we speak to them and will speak the same way to them or to anyone that they consider in the same class with them. We need to watch how we talk or comments we make on the phone, to staff, our spouses, our neighbors, the man in the next car while driving on the road etc. Children learn from us.

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Our school; where we teach great values needed in Life

It is important we instill great values in our children because no one likes a rude kid, NO ONE!  So teaching a child to be well-mannered can actually make life a lot more pleasant for him/her as well as for the people he/she encounters.  That is why it’s critical to teach children from the get-go that they can’t make a scene in a shopping mall or run wild in a restaurant, etiquette and good manners are not stuffy old notions from the past. They are really useful social skills that will help a child throughout his/ her life.

When we teach manners, we open up the world of altruism for our kids. And that’s one of the most important gifts we can give them.